A day of Silence at O-An Zendo

On Sunday Linda and I had the rare opportunity to spend an extended period of time sitting in silence at O-AN Zendo in the Julian Woods community north of State College. We had six sessions of sitting separated by walking meditation. I was fortunate to be able to complete the sittings with little difficulty. This allowed me to maintain an active state of awareness without thinking or dwelling on my uncomfortable physical state as I often do. I was able to go deep and penetrate some layers of ego that I hadn't dealt with previously causing me to let go with some uncontrolled emotion when we each had a chance to share our experience around the table where Barbara served some great chocolate tofu pie. It had been a number of years since I experienced this kind of emotional cleansing. Not long ago I was thinking that I must have uncovered all of the past hurts and guilt that flow out at these times, but there it was. This extended sitting took me deeper into that place where we hide things that we don't want to deal with. For me it's like digging up artifacts. I'm never quite sure what I uncovered. I know that it is not necessarily related directly to what I am talking about at the time so it will take some time and some contemplation to understand the mystery. Even then it may not be comprehensible in the language of ordinary mind. It may just come as a direct experience of the moon's reflection in the water.

Barbara pointed to the moon for us with contemporary fingers. She used the lyrics from "Let it Be" by the Beattles:

"When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom
Let it be"

We suffer needlessly because we feel that we have to fix things. We want to fix our own problems and the problems of our friends and others. We want to fix the world. Fixing things is fine and even good but we need to do what we can without attachment and "Let it Be". But we become obsessed with things. We dwell on things and nurture fear and anxiety. We need to learn to "Let it be". This was a beautiful Dharma lesson.

After our final sitting I was surprised by the chant:

Row, row, row your boat
gently down the stream
Merily, merrily, merrily, merrily
Life is but a dream.

I had never thought about all of the Buddhist symbolism in this round that I learned in elementary school. What a beautiful surprise.

We finished with a beautiful bowing ceremony. Each of us had the opportunity to bow to all of the other participants.

My gratitude to Barbara and all who were present.

With Loving Kindness,

Robert